March 7th, 2019

Ten years. Goodness, gracious. How can it be?  I am only where I am today because of God’s goodness and His graciousness toward me --and in spite of me. There would be no need for His grace without disgrace.

You see, today, March 7th,  marks the 10th year since my irresponsible and reckless decision to drink and drive, which claimed the life of Mr. Hort Kap and caused so many other lives to implode. From the inside out.

This world doesn’t need help dishing pain out, yet on this fateful day in 2009, I became the agent that ignorantly helped mete out pain. I say “ignorantly”, not because I didn’t know what I was doing, but because sin makes you dumb which makes you do things without thinking. I have no excuses.

What I did and the pain I caused is certainly heavy. And to some, my failure will always speak louder than my character. But this one thing I know to be true: And that is that no matter how much weight I may feel for the destruction I caused, Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross weighs more and His character speaks louder than my failure.

Thus, even as some in the world would continually put me on trial for my recklessness, my Father in heaven whispers, “Let them, My child. Your responsibility isn’t to rebuttal. No! Your response ought to do nothing but humbly put My faithfulness on trial, for it has already been found tried, tested, and true.”

Hence, my mission burns even more intensely: Knowing that Gods faithfulness isn’t based on my innocence. Nor is His forgiveness determined by my worthiness, but on Jesus’ righteousness.  

So for all who are broken and weary, Jesus already died for every sin we will ever commit. He already paid the price with the crucifixion and then validated this sacrifice with His resurrection. Want to know why the tomb is empty?  Because Jesus is alive and lives inside all who call upon His name. 

Thus, from the inside out, I stick to the script of what I know to be constant. And that’s how God will not allow His mercy to be trumped by judgment. He will not allow His grace to flow without being obvious and blatant.

I am so sorry that it took a great tragedy to get me to learn this, but without great disgrace how else can God show off His great grace?

My mission stands on His character alone. The story of redemption continues....